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Post by handjivewilly on Jan 12, 2014 9:03:46 GMT 9
Ah, the newbie. Fresh off the plane. Running around loving everything. Or scared as shit, hiding in a corner of their dingy apartment unable to pick up a phone and order a pizza.
I guess they run the gamut. And while this site doesn't really cater to newbies, we must get a few on here. So I thought we might have a thread giving some advice on what to do and what not to do. Especially, what to do in class time.
So, here is one:
Dokdo. Learn about it... know the Korean perspective. And above all else, don't make it into a lesson. Avoid this one like the plague in all your classes. If anyone mentions Dokdo, nod and smile and say "Yes, Dokdo belongs to Korea." It's not a lie. It does belong to Korea, as Korea has it occupied. Forget any other opinion on the matter. Repeat the mantra: "Yes, Dokdo belongs to Korea." "Yes, Dokdo belongs to Korea." "Yes, Dokdo belongs to Korea."
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Post by Ironhead on Jan 12, 2014 11:38:55 GMT 9
Ah, the newbie. Fresh off the plane. Running around loving everything. Or scared as shit, hiding in a corner of their dingy apartment unable to pick up a phone and order a pizza. I guess they run the gamut. And while this site doesn't really cater to newbies, we must get a few on here. So I thought we might have a thread giving some advice on what to do and what not to do. Especially, what to do in class time. So, here is one: If anyone mentions FILL-IN-THE-KOREA-RELATED-BLANK, nod and smile and say "Yes, TELL THEM EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR AND NOT WHAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE WAY DOWN DEEP WHERE THE MONEY'S AT." It's not a lie. Forget any other opinion on the matter. Repeat the mantra: "ALWAYS TELL A LOCAL EXACTLY WHAT THE LOCAL WANTS TO HEAR!" Altered a bit, but advice to not only live by here, but to thrive by here. You have YOUR REAL opinion, and then you have "the opinion that the Koreans WANT and EXPECT to hear from you."Always give 'em the lie. ALWAYS. ALWAYS.Never, ever, ever... under any circumstances... NEVER tell a Local what you REALLY believe or feel about anything. ALWAYS tell 'em what they want to hear. The cold down-home truth is that the Locals here could give two-fucks for you individually. You're just a weird-looking and interchangeable sort of novelty to them who will soon leave and be replaced by an equally weird-looking and interchangeable sort of novelty. The "Good Waygook." One size fits all. Cue the ditty!You aren't here to have "opinions that conflict with 'The Collective.'" You're here to tell 'em "Yassa, Boss!" and that's it. That's all they're interested in from you. That's all they want. Look at it like an actor playing a role. ALWAYS but goddamned ALWAYS keep your REAL cards close to your chest. Never trust a Local (... unless you're married to 'em...) and most especially ANY workplace-related Local with what you "really" believe way down deep where the money's at. Just "play that role," boys and girls. "Play that role."And convince 'em that that's all there is to you. Only "that role" and nothing else. And they will LOVE you. That's how you become "The Good Foreigner" here. Just play the role.
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Post by handjivewilly on Jan 12, 2014 12:16:07 GMT 9
Well, Ironhat, essentially your blanket advice just derailed the thread. Thanks.... I guess
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Post by Ironhead on Jan 12, 2014 13:09:58 GMT 9
Well... shit... Cue the ditty! I sometimes got a way of killing the mood, I gotta admit.
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Post by Ironhead on Jan 12, 2014 13:14:07 GMT 9
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Post by handjivewilly on Jan 12, 2014 16:55:02 GMT 9
Well well well... perhaps we could advise newbies that McDonald's now has curly fries!
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Post by handjivewilly on Jan 12, 2014 16:55:24 GMT 9
And I hear that Costco has food too.
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Post by Grimerick on Jan 12, 2014 17:01:13 GMT 9
The greatest military weapon ever invented by humans was the Turtle Ship. Far superior to anything that came before or since. So remember this name newbies: Yi Sun Shin. Perhaps you never heard of him, but I assure you that he was the most important military figure since Joshua fit the battle of Jericho and the walls came a tumblin' down.
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Post by Grimerick on Jan 12, 2014 17:07:49 GMT 9
Walnuts will make you smarter if you eat them.
Now, I read someone over on another site saying Koreans had said this to them. But, I only half believed it.
Sure enough, last week a Korean lady said this to me as she offered me some chocolate covered walnuts. "They make you smarter because they look like a brain," she added.
And that's good enough for Rick. Always eat the walnuts newbies. (unless you want to be an idiot!)
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Post by handjivewilly on Jan 12, 2014 17:09:29 GMT 9
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Post by handjivewilly on Jan 12, 2014 17:11:55 GMT 9
A lot of foreigners don't drive. Especially newbies. But if you do drive, remember this rule:
The more expensive car has the right of way. And if you are in an Equus, you don't have to obey any traffic lights or traffic laws.
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Post by handjivewilly on Jan 12, 2014 17:16:52 GMT 9
Here's another one: The police in Korea always drive with their red and blue flashing lights on, except when they stop you, then they turn those puppies off.
You need to wear a helmet if you drive a scooter or above. But it can be any kind of hat that resembles a motorcycle helmet. A construction hardhat, a football helmet, even a child's tonka toy hat will pass muster. I used to ride my bike around with a piece of tupperware on my head.
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Post by johnhenry on Jan 12, 2014 18:11:55 GMT 9
Don't listen to anyone who says, "Contracts are not viewed the same in Korea as in America." Nice theory--for the boss!--but that's not the way the Labor Board and the courts see it.
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Post by johnhenry on Jan 12, 2014 18:12:49 GMT 9
You do not have to drink, nor even pretend to drink, to "fit in" at company dinners. Hey, you don't even have to go to the company dinners. Skipping the thing will not tank your job.
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Post by johnhenry on Jan 12, 2014 18:13:42 GMT 9
If you do smoke, don't smoke outside in the neighborhood of your school, your students, your students' grannies, or your apartment. Go far, far away to smoke.
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