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Post by handjivewilly on Jul 16, 2014 14:16:29 GMT 9
a toothless termite walks into a bar and says.... "where's the bar tender?"
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a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey you have a wheel in your pants...."
Pirate: "Arrrgg, it's drivin' me nuts...."
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Post by Ironhead on Jul 17, 2014 18:19:54 GMT 9
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride.
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.
'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'
Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.'
Don't ever underestimate old guys.
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Post by handjivewilly on Jul 17, 2014 18:33:22 GMT 9
Two octogenarian admirals are having lunch in an upscale restaurant... as an attractive waitress is bending over at the next table, her hind end is right next to Admiral Nelson's head...
"When was the last time you had something like that?" says Admiral Hornblower.
"Oh..." says Admiral Nelson, "That would be about 19....19.... no, make that twenty-one hundred."
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